Candace Lightner

   Grief is a journey that comes in 3 phases, the beginning, the middle and the rest of your life.
- Candace Lightner


Giving Sorrow WordsAn accomplished author, Candace Lightner has published articles in magazines, newspapers, and journals including: USA Today, Abstracts and Reviews, the Judges Journal, Advertising Age, Los Angeles Times, the San Francisco Chronicle and the Salt Lake Tribune.

She is the co-author of Giving Sorrow Words: How to Cope with Grief and Get on With Your Life.

Written with compassion and insight, this book can help you travel through the rough terrain of grief. By giving sorrow words the authors tell you what to expect when mourning, how to get the support you need and how coping with death can transform your life.

A main selection of the Psychotherapy Book Club

Purchase: Amazon

"A responsible, caring and accurate book, and, hence, a dependable guide for anyone who is normally grief stricken by the death of anyone close."

-M. Scott Peck, author of The Road less Travelled

"This wonderfully readable and insightful book offers the reader so much freedom and permission for dealing with all aspects of grief. It is worth reading from cover to cover, for the book offers very genuine, specific and honest advice from someone who knows about painful loss firsthand."

-Judy Tatelbaum, author of The Courage to Grieve and You Don’t Have to Suffer

"In GIVING SORROW WORDS, Candy Lightner has provided us all with words that express our feelings when someone is taken away from us in death. This book will provide a true source of comfort and understanding to those who must face the death of a loved one. it presents the need to explore and experience our grief, and in doing so, to grow and continue to live."

-Dr. Dana Cable, former president of A-Deck (Association for Death Education Counseling)

"I had to learn to grieve. I think we have to be taught, and this book does that. It helps us not only with our own grief, but through example, it teaches us how to deal with others. It is an invaluable book. It is simply and clearly written, and an absolute necessity for everyone."

-Mariette Hartley, Emmy Award winning actress who portrayed Candy Lightner in the NBC docudrama: Mothers Against Drunk drivers,: the Candy Lightner Story.

"Lightner offers an honest account of her progress through the grieving cycle, and sound general advice on how to help the bereaved. She taps into the experience of others who have also suffered losses (the death of a spouse, a loved one’s suicide, the death of a friend) for useful information about what to expect during the grieving process."

-Kirkus Reviews

From the Readers

"Not only do I own a copy of this treasure, but I have also given this book as a gift to several friends who have lost a loved one. It really fits the bill."

"As a griever of multiple lost loved ones -- my mom, my dad, my brother and the biggest grief earthquake of all, my son -- this book is spot on. For someone who's lost so much herself, I read in amazement as the author so practically, yet tenderly, connected truth to the many harsh realities of this hard road. I've always believed that "truth" is the most buoyant thing of all. And this book fearlessly speaks truth. I especially connected with the painful experience that Candy shared in the first two chapters. (As I read, I found myself nodding "yes" and saying "yeah... me too." A lot.) Like the author, I lost my child to a preventable death, and many of my days are spent trying to prevent my story from becoming someone else's story. I admire Candy's strength, candor and gumption. She leans into her grief while simultaneously reaching far beyond it to make a difference for so many. I'm grateful she's chosen to boldly share her experience and allow so many of us to learn from it."

"Candy Lightner's book was the most helpful guide through grief that I read after my own loss of a 14 year-old daughter in 1988. Here I am, 13 years later, still remembering passages from the book. A few months after my child's death, and feeling mired in a depression I had no idea how to lift, I bought or borrowed every book on grief I could get my hands on. This one stands out for its honesty and focuses on the fact that there are disparate ways of grieving, none of them wrong, and that those left to deal with the death of a loved one never "recover" as from an illness, but rather incorporate the experience into his or her life. The loss becomes, as one father described it (paraphrased) not a turbulent river, but a meandering stream that ebbs and flows through the remainder of one's life. I completely recommend this book, and in fact bought many copies which I have given away over the years. There are many interesting facts brought out in the book, for example that 80% of all marriages end in divorce after the death of a child. Although perhaps most helpful to those who have lost a child, the book has much to offer anyone learning to cope after the death of a spouse, relative, or dear friend."

"I am at the time of my life when a lot of friends are dying so I consult Candace Lightner's book all too often. She seems wise beyond her years and has advice that helps the griever move on and yet honor the loved one who died. I highly recommend this healing book and can't thank Ms Lightner enough for writing it and sharing her own experience with grief. It a book to keep on your bookshelf."

"Thank you, Ms.Lightner, for helping me understand and cope with my own sorrows... You've written an essential manual for processing and healing."

"I felt like the author was speaking directly to me. Candace Lightner explained to me how and why I was feeling the way I was."