Candace Lightner

   Writing is a passion of mine. I admire those who can write articles that are easy to read, grammatically correct and entertaining. Maybe in my next life...

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A hodgepodge of what matters to me.

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Change Doesn’t Have to Be Violent

I have watched with horror at the recent violence at our nation's capital. I couldn't help but reflect back on a group of angry grieving mothers who were able to change a culture, change laws and save lives without breaking any laws or displaying any violence. Our weapons were facts, not pie in the sky conspiracy theories or conjecture based on one deranged man's opinion who was terrified of losing. We debated opposition, again with proven facts from a number of sources, not rhetoric that inflamed and incited people to kill and destroy but carefully researched arguments that convinced people we were on the right course. Our strategy was reinforced by our success. [Read More...]


Must We Accept Gun Violence in Our Schools as the New Norm?

Another mass shooting, multiple deaths, injuries and much weeping. This one in another school. We cry, we are horrified, we scream gun reform. People take sides, it remains very political, we organize a march, host candlelight vigils and then what? I feel the pain of the families and I understand their anger and desire for change. I experienced many of these same feelings when my daughter was run over by a multiple repeat offender drunk driver and thrown 125 feet in the road to die. He was still driving on a valid California driver’s license. All I wanted to do was scream, why and how could this happen. But it did over and over again.  [Read More...]


Coping with Grief During the Holidays

“Mourning is the most intense process that most people ever go through. Grief is complex, unpredictable and primal. Many people are frightened by it-frightened by feeling it, frightened by seeing in others. Fortunately, there are ways to move through it, and those ways all involve expressing your feelings. If you act upon your grief, you will make room in your life and in your heart for hope and happiness. If you suppress it, it sticks around forever. However, unpleasant or disturbing some of those feelings may be, there is no benefit in trying to ignore them.” [Read More...]

Self-Sacrifice, Arrogance, and the Decision to Wear a Mask and Physically Distance

This article is written by a friend of mine, Ken Druck, and I wanted to share it here.May 19, [Read More...]


Living Your Values - Webcast

My webcast with Hitendra Wadhwa. [Read More...]


Meet a Living Legend Who Has Changed Our World

Dear Friend, At our core, each of us possesses a set of values that we deeply identify with. And yet, in our everyday lives, we drift away from our core from time to time. What might life be if we fused our every thought and action with our deeply-felt values? How can we change our outer world when it conflicts with our inner world? Join me... [Read More...]


Saying Goodbye and Saying Hello

Each time I read another story of a loved one passing because of COVOD 19, my heart breaks. Especially when they mention they didn’t get to say goodbye, or they are alone and there will be no funeral. Even more distressing are the statements from heartbroken parents who say they don’t know how to grieve. I want to reach out, wrap my arms around them and reassure them. I want to let them know that no one knows how to grieve…even if it isn’t your... [Read More...]

She Blossomed on Earth She blooms in Heaven

On May 3rd, 1980, my daughter, Cari Lightner was killed by a multiple repeat offender drunk driver. Her foreshortened life now stands for something amazing. Hundreds of thousands of people have lived as a result of her death. Who knew that her death would spark a movement, a revolution really, against the way this world thinks about drinking and driving. This date will be forever etched in my mind, my life and my actions. It was the catalyst for my founding MADD - and her life and that of my family continue to inspire me as I move forward with We Save Lives... [Read More...] 1.jpg  2.jpg  3.jpg  4.jpg  5.jpg  6.jpg  7.jpg  8.jpg  9.jpg 


Living with a Brain Injured Child

Did you know that March is “National Brain Injury Awareness” month? Unless you have a child or family member with a brain injury it’s unlikely you know there even is a “month” set aside for such awareness. I am more than aware because my son, Travis, was run over by a car when he was 4 years old. The driver was on prescription meds and distracted by her baby in the back seat. Travis was outside with his friends, sisters... [Read More...]

A Tribute to My Ex-Husband

A man I once loved died recently. He was my ex-husband, Steve, the biological father of my son and the adopted father of my twin girls. We met at the officer’s club one Friday night when I was out with my girlfriends. Steve and his friends joined us, all young good- looking lieutenants. He was the funniest of the men and kept us in stitches all night. It was his sense of humor that attracted me to him, more than anything else. We were hoping to get the men to buy us steak dinners so we could take the leftovers home for another meal. As the single parent of twins, money was very tight. He did take me out for dinner, 2 eggs, because all he had was 80 cents. I worked... [Read More...]

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